The following is a letter I sent to a friend lately about "pesky" negative emotions, how I experience them, view them, and what I see as my strong "tool" to use against them. I thought I would also post this letter, in case the thoughts are useful to anyone else. Some related thoughts also occur in my blog article of May 31, 2016 (the section that quotes C.S. Lewis Narnia Chronicles: The Silver Chair regarding "Acting as If" the God of our Best Hope is There. [YHWH Shammah - I AM Always AM There), Ezekiel 48:35]
Dear Friend,
I was thinking this morning about our discussion of emotions yesterday afternoon (and how to better manage my irritability/anger when I am “nanny” at my daughter’s home every other week - or when I am at my own home on alternate weeks with my spouse). I was too tired to analyze it more yesterday but have had a thought on it this morning.
Dear Friend,
I was thinking this morning about our discussion of emotions yesterday afternoon (and how to better manage my irritability/anger when I am “nanny” at my daughter’s home every other week - or when I am at my own home on alternate weeks with my spouse). I was too tired to analyze it more yesterday but have had a thought on it this morning.
I am NOW reminded that
for me, and I believe as a general psychological (and spiritual) principle, at
the bottom of every negative emotion is fear.
And I believe that is a
logical core of our human nature. We are in a dangerous existence that
ultimately appears to end in death for all of us. AND during our lives we
are continuously subject to pain, scarcity, loss (and the same for those we
love/value). Incidentally this makes all of us subject to various
addictions to "numb out": alcohol, drugs, food, entertainment,
overwork, thrill seeking, material possession pursuit, status seeking, etc.
etc.
Even if you factor
in the spiritual, we only have the hope that there may be
relief and something better on the "other side".
So, as you and I know,
psychologists tell us that under depression is anger. But I believe that
under sadness and anger and any other "negative" emotion is that understandable human/animal
fear.
Biblically, it's
expressed as our getting "uncovered", thrown out of the Garden
of Eden, and made subject to death, pain, loss, scarcity AND the loss of
comfort in an intimate awareness of the Creator's presence, agape love (perfect care) and plan. You know
the analogy that I enjoy - that in the last ~2000 years God seems to have treated us
like He's raising mushrooms (I heard this thought originally r/t company management,
but it seems to apply very strongly to THE Highest Cosmic Management):
"keeps us in the dark and feeds us shit so that we grow".
I think I will play with
this new question when I feel "irritable" or
"angry" or even "sad" - and ask myself "What am I
afraid of?" It might be good to briefly identify what the source of
my fear is (loneliness, overwork, death, disability?) And then apply my
"Act as if" to it. Psalm 23: 1 "The I AM Always
AM is my Shepherd. I have no lack."
And there is no real and
lasting payoff or comfort from this life for those very human
emotions. Only the possibility of spiritual comfort can give
that. Also echoed by the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous: “and, I can
find no serenity until I accept that [every] person [particularly me], place,
thing, or situation, as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this
moment. Nothing, absolutely
nothing happens in God's world by mistake [loneliness, overwork, death,
disability, loss]."
So, again, I think I
will try to experiment with that question when I recognize that feel
irritable/angry/sad: "What am I afraid of?
(Again, a few
possible sources :)
- loneliness
- disability
- death
- overwork
- lack of being understood or valued
- physical or emotional pain
- change
And I do know so many
wonderful scriptures, poetry, songs, literature and principles from the 12
step programs to remind myself of the comfort of a heavenly/eternal
answer/vision/practice:
- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ‘’ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
- Romans 8:31 "Since God is for us, who can be against us?"
- Psalm 91: 1,5,10 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High [ALL of us] will abide in the shadow of the Almighty...You will not be afraid of the terror by night or of the arrow that flies by day...No evil will befall you [for God's Perfect Purposes] nor will any plague come near your tent."
- Psalm 121: 5-7 "The LORD [YHWH -I AM Always AM] watches over you. The LORD [YHWH- I AM Always AM] is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not smite you by day nor the moon by night. The LORD [I AM Always AM] will keep you from ALL [spiritual] harm [HIS priority!]. He will watch over your life. The LORD [I AM Always AM] will watch over your going out and coming in from this time forth and forevermore."
- Psalm 27:1 "The I AM Always AM [YHWH] is my light and my rescue - whom shall I fear? The I AM Always AM [YHWH] is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?"
- Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. (the things that are unseen, but promised /hoped in/visioned- my future, unending spiritual life, using all of those lovely tools to see it in my time here in this world: music, literature, poetry, painting, scripture - to condition my poor fearful "flesh" to see it more
So I'll let you know how
it goes and I'd love you to remind me that if I'm feeling
irritable/angry/or negative in any way, ask myself "What am I afraid
of?" And then shift to taking good care of myself as his tool and focusing on what it seems He has given me as His
work for the moment (anything/everything He has given me - the dark and the light), that will
reinforce my vision - that I have all eternity for all the wonderful things He has imagined for me and ALL Humanity.
Rejoicing for ALL,
June
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